My relationship with Nickelback and Creed is well-established. I love them. I’d like to think as a college dweeb I pioneered the irony-poisoned reappraisal of them over the last few years. And if you don’t think there’s been an irony-poisoned reappraisal of them, congratulations, you probably are a normal, functioning human being.
Anyway, the journey started with Nickelback, and then a fascination with The House That Stapp Built blossomed out of it. I think the intrigue comes from the fact that while Chad Kroeger seems almost too in on the joke and the space Nickelback inhabits, Scott legitimately has no idea.
Now, what he definitely doesn’t have an idea about is the night he decided to appear on SpikeTV’s “Casino Cinema” (which apparently was a casino mini-show that Spike played in between movies? 2004-2007 was such a wonderful time) blitzed out of his mind.
So in my first and hopefully not last edition of “Dan Breaks Down Creed Videos” let’s look at this wonderful artifact.
0:02: The insane handshake/hi-five combo and the “sup” instantly tells you what is going to happen. This guy is not in a good zone, and he is going to make Steve Schirripa’s life hell in a way no one would until Eric Andre.
0:07: “We met.” “We kissed.” Yep. Hard to watch.
0:23: Let’s forget the fact Scott is asked “Did you write all the songs on Creed,” Scott’s sheepish but clearly bragging “Yes I did” is a sight to behold. He’s so proud, and also absolutely shortchanging our king Mark Tremonti.
0:38: Scott’s brain cannot comprehend this game of poker while also talking. He’s asked a simple question about Florida, and just short circuits. We’ve all bee there.
0:52: This is a level of under-the-influence where you could probably have asked Scott Stapp any question in the world and he would’ve said yes. “Scott, is a ham a fruit?” “Yeah of course man.”
1:08: I cannot believe this show existed.
1:30: “Scott Stapp is fuckin Creed” has become an oft-quoted line in my life. It’s crazy how quickly he sobers up to make sure everyone knows this. As we’ll learn later in this video, being a lead singer is a job only few can relate to, so who am I to judge this so-called arrogance?
1:34: “The rest of the band… are they bitter.”
“Of course they’re bitter. Are your ex-boyfriends bitter?”
She really doesn’t Yes… and our boy here.
1:52: This is just the most insane segment of the show. It’s its Touch of Evil tracking shot. The Dave Grohl line is iconic, but even better might be Steve Schirripa referring to Grohl as “from the Goo Goo Dolls,” very clearly mixing up Goo and Foo.
2:02: “Probably the both.” I’ve just reached out to Netflix and the company that produces Hot Ones and am trying to revive this program.
2:19: So is Scott making fun of evangelical Christianity here? Was he so drunk he had a moment of clarity that he didn’t actually believe in any of this stuff? He quickly went back to the Christian Rock stuff in his solo career. But this is when it becomes evident he wasn’t just drunk.
2:30: I don’t think Scott knows what the word “theme” means
2:34: Common Scott W.
2:51: Very glad Scott could forgive Bono. Taking what he said at face value, what situation could they have possibly been in where Bono could’ve been a dick to him, and The Edge could then pull Stapp aside and say “I apologize for how Bono acted”?
3:02: Yeah I don’t know what drug does that.
3:08: Is this a movie quote? Did Scott just have an identity crisis?
3:18: He is zooted. And hungry. I know whenever I happen upon inebriation, I tend to start chewing on non-chewable things, too. So I’ll give him a pass.
3:26: Do we think Scott Stapp would pass an MLB PED test in 2006? He’s pretty big. Also, choosing to believe the “are you a big sports fan” question is the Marlins Will Soar Origin Story.
3:50: And that’s it. 50 million CDs. A King/Ace/King hand. And if you pause right before the fade to black, Scott appears to be creeping his fingers on top of Schirripa’s head? He is so gone.
So that’s that. I love this video. I can watch it any day, any hour and it’ll cheer me up. I’m happy for Scott in that he appears to be sober now and in a better place than when he was telling his wife that Florida was no longer safe and to meet him in Atlanta.
We’ll always have Casino Cinema though.
Here are five other things I’ve enjoyed since my last post
Live music! — You always forget how good live music is when you go a long time without seeing it. I checked out Gladie/Oceanator/AJJ a couple weeks back, mainly to see Gladie open, and had a great time. I saw Augusta Koch’s old band Cayetana in Pittsburgh a while back, but that show was, shall we say, dulled by the fact that she had completely lost her voice and could not sing, requiring fans to come up and sing for her. This time, with Gladie, her voice was fine (after the mic initially didn’t turn on) and their set was particularly great. Twenty Twenty in particular was a showstopper.
Zach Bryan’s American Heartbreak — I’ve written a bit about getting into Zach Bryan’s music, but this past month, I’ve been doing a ton of driving all over the state—lots of 1.5-2.5 hour drives. This album is just the perfect double album to make a ride through the rural landscapes of Pennsylvania feel meaningful. Sometimes earnestness rubs me the wrong way, but there’s so much charm in all of his songs.
Manhunter — Nothing new here, just a recent rewatch emphasizing what I felt the first time or two I’ve watched this: one of the best American movies of the last 50 years. William Peterson, as the kids say, was him.
Taylor Swift Mania — I’d say I describe myself as a converted Taylor Swift appreciator. That might sound a bit tame considering I have 50+ songs of hers saved on Spotify, so maybe you could call me a fan. That said, I have no massive interest in seeing her live, especially considering ticket prices. I do, however, think it’s pretty cool to see masses of people freaking the fuck out about a live music event that isn’t just a Kenny Chesney show to get shitfaced at. People have said the movie star is dead, so it’s comforting to see the Live Concert Star is still a thing. Even if the last album was pretty middling.
Brayan Bello — One of the most rewarding things about being a sports fan, and for me in particular, a baseball fan, is watching a young player develop, seeing them shed the prospect cocoon and become a capital G Guy. The Red Sox haven’t had that for a long, long time in the form of a pitcher—was shocked and depressed to learn Jon Lester debuted 17 years ago—but I think we might finally be seeing that with Bello, who is one of my favorite pitcher archetypes: short, thin, a total mystery as to how he generates 98 mph, and screams and yells after big strikeouts.
Here are four things I didn’t like
You Hurt My Feelings — Thought this was pretty dreadful, and borderline self-obsessive. I got what it was going for but just found it to be painfully niche and uneventful. David Cross scenes were great, tho.
The Barry finale — While I thought Succession nailed theirs, I think Hader and company got too cute. The final gag was fantastic but almost didn’t feel earned.
Driving through the Nittany Mountains — My poor used Honda Civic was struggling, man.
Bruce Springsteen changing his Nationals Park date — No reason given. Now I can’t go. Awesome. More like The Loss, am I right?