30 Doesn't Rock
Let me be the first person to ever reflect on aging via a blog post
I don’t really care about aging in a vacuum. I’m already bald. I don’t have any athletic ability to cling to. I can already barely see without glasses.
My aging-related stressors manifest more via comparison.
I don’t like being an older person in the room. I think it comes from a lack of belief in myself as some authority figure, and some subconscious and incorrect belief that age equals authority, probably stemming from being the oldest child. Someone 10 years younger than me should not be a fully functioning, independent adult. It’s just not right.
It’s so much nicer to be “the young guy.” I still fish for that. I know how to fish for that. I have my go-to moves. “I was born during the OJ Simpson trial” is a good one.
I get this is being insanely overdramatic for turning *30* last week but my neurotic ass feels how it feels.
In reality, there is effectively no difference between being 30 years old and being 29 years and 364 days old, just as there’s no difference between hitting .300 vs .299. But just like hitting .300 vs. .299, there’s a big fucking difference.
Also, and perhaps this is not a shared experience with others, “being in my 30s” wasn’t really something I visualized or planned much for. I’ve imagined what I’d be like as a 60-year-old, as a 40-year-old, but your 30s feel like the uncanny valley where things slowly start to get worse while still feeling like a faded figure of your 20s.
Or maybe it’s just gonna be exactly the same. I don’t know. I wonder if I’ll own a house by the end of it. I think I have to give up my Major League Baseball dreams though.
Here are some things I enjoyed in the final days of my 20s.
Horizon: An American Saga Part 1
It’s just good. I don’t know, man. The plot is inscrutable. I forget every character’s name and I highly doubt Parts 3 and 4 ever get made. But it rules. Kevin Costner is an American hero, and is throwing away vast amounts of personal capital at age 70 to do this. I will be there right away in six weeks for Part 2.
Mishima: A Life In Four Chapters
Another psycho vanity project by a quirky Hollywood staple, I love Paul Schrader and hope he lives forever. But while this movie stuck with me on its own as an inventive way to explore a life, it was the Philip Glass score that has continued to linger.
The Boston Celtics
They won. Hell yeah.
“She’s Leaving You” - MJ Lenderman
MJ already put out my 2022 Album of the Year Boat Songs. But man am I excited for this new record. He’s quickly approaching “infallible” territory, what an absolute ripper.
NCAA Football 2025 trickle-out of updates
I’ve never been a huge video game guy, at least not in terms of following game rollouts, but I am so pumped for July 19th. Every new update convinces me this game might actually not be a microtransaction sponge. Get ready for Florida International University to become the best team in the nation.
CHAOS: Charles Manson, the CIA, and the Secret History of the Sixties by Tom O’Neill
I’m really, really trying to read more. Hopefully, an upcoming beach trip will help. Frankly, I don’t care that much about Manson and think the cultural impact of this seems so far away and overstated, but this book is so fascinating to read from a journalism/reporting perspective so I just accept the fact that “MANSON IS IMPORTANT” and enjoy the hell out of the read.
Meal prepping
It’s just so nice to already have food made. It’s work to allow for later laziness. So far I’m just air frying fish and making pasta and meat sauce. If anyone has any easy recipes an absolute idiot can make, please let me know.